Don't Let Your Guard Down
by Backlite
Summary: Kakashi is an anbu with problems. When one of his companions dies, who will be there to help him with the pain? character death. oneshot.


**Author**: Backlite

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Kakashi or any of the other characters in this fic, I would die of happiness and there would be no more Kakashi stories, God forbid.

I don't write darker fics often, so enjoy it whilst u still can.

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Kakashi sighed as he and his team walked back home after completing their mission. It had been a long day and it wasn't over yet. Maybe his students could go home to rest their tired muscles, but he wasn't so lucky.

Unbeknownst to his students, Kakashi was part of an ANBU squad. On nights like this one, when the special services of an Anbu were required, he would put on the mask of then Anbu wolf, and head out with his three companions to complete a mission only they could do.

No, there would be no rest tonight. At least not for a while. As soon as his mission report was done, he would be off again. Off to a night of blood and danger, to put his life, and the lives of his comrades on the line, so that these innocent students of his could rest in peace, and not have to worry about their safety in the heart of Konoha village. For now.

Sometimes the Anbu missions included guarding. Those were by far the safest of their missions. Sometimes they were sent to assassinate someone who was a danger to the village. More dangerous, but still not the worst. But tonight, their mission was one of retrieval. They were being sent to fetch a scroll, containing forbidden justu.

Many people might think that this was the easier job, rather than moving in to kill a ninja who was perfectly capable of protecting themselves. But the Anbu knew what many people didn't. These forbidden scrolls were protected far better than even the life of the Hokage, for a man could be replaced, but the knowledge in the scrolls was far more precious and irreplaceable.

To get the scroll they were after tonight, there would be no avoiding a fight. Kakashi sighed again. Bloodshed was eminent this night.

"Is something wrong Kakashi-sensei?" asked Sakura, snapping him out of his melancholy. "You look so tired, and you're sighing a lot."

Kakashi looked at her, startled. He hadn't realized that he was being so obvious. Then he smiled, though his student couldn't see it through his mask. "No, nothing's wrong, it's just been a long day. After all, you kids couldn't finish the mission on your own, so I had to step in and do most of the work."

"Hey!" exclaimed Naruto. The blonde genin glared indignantly at his teacher. "That's not fair! It was a hard mission, and you didn't do all THAT much work! Besides, you're a jounin, you shouldn't be tired after just that!"

Sasuke just glared at Naruto. "Baka." He said, but nothing else. Kakashi gave him a puzzled look. That boy never seemed to do anything but glare at Naruto and call him names. He wondered if Sasuke actually had a mind of his own, or if that stupid vendetta against his brother had taken him over entirely.

He had never understood avengers. There was no shame in wanting revenge, or in working toward that end, but he didn't see a point in obsessing over it, and to stop thinking entirely whilst you were at it made no sense at all. Oh well, he had other things to worry about. The gates of Konoha were coming into view.

"Alright," He dismissed his students, "You all did well enough today. We'll meet at 10 tomorrow, skip the early training."

Sakura blinked. "Why so late sensei? We usually begin at 6."

"Don't complain Sakura," Naruto said with a big grin. "We get to sleep in tomorrow!" He let out a whoop, jumping in the air to show his excitement.

Sasuke glared, "Baka."

Rather than try to come up with an answer to that question, Kakashi decided to simply vanish in a puff of smoke. It was certainly better than telling his students that the reason they were starting late is because he wanted to make sure he was _able _to teach them the next day. Four extra hours in the morning just _might_ be enough to let him catch up on whatever sleep he was going to miss this night, for after reading the mission description this morning, he knew that this night would be a long one.

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_…mission was a success._

Kakashi finished the mission report reluctantly. He couldn't put it off any longer. Quickly slipping into his bone Anbu armor, he prepared for the night's mission. He walked over to his desk and unlocked one of the drawers, taking out the last piece of his "uniform."

It was a porcelain mask, white with red markings, fashioned to be a snarling wolf. Once he put it on, his identity was unknown, as it was with all the Anbu. Silently, he slid the mask over his face, and took on the persona of The Wolf.

He slipped down to the same gates that he and his students had taken on their way home earlier that day. Waiting there, were two of the four-man squad, The Cat, and The Hawk. As he approached the fourth member, The Deer, dropped out of the trees. "You're late Wolf."

Kakashi bowed his head in acknowledgment. He didn't know for sure the true identities of his three companions, but from the voice he had long ago guessed that Deer, was actually Iruka. Odd that a chunin would become an Anbu, one of the elite fighters, the best of the best. But Deer always seemed to hold his own.

Hawk stood up from where he was crouched next to Cat. "Let's go." Simultaneously, the four vanished into the night.

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Kakashi crouched silently in a tree, looking down on the fortress they were about to attempt to penetrate. He knew his companions' positions only because he had been told where they were to be. Otherwise there was no way to pick them out among the leaves of the forest.

Then he saw a tiny movement to his left, from the place Deer was to be hidden. It was time. Without a sound he slipped out of his tree and towards the building, one of four silent shadows in the night.

The first guard went down easily, his throat slit. Across from him Deer took out the man's partner, and inside, Hawk finished off another who was come to relieve one or the other of them. They moved on into the building, pausing a moment for Cat to skillfully pick the lock on the door.

The next set of guards didn't go so easily. Two went down to Kakashi's Kunai, another to Cat, and another each to Hawk and Deer, but a sixth was able to cry out before they could reach him. He died quickly, but somewhere deeper in the keep, an alarm bell started tolling. Now the real work began.

Guards swarmed from all entrances. Scrolls such as the one they were after were guarded better than the life of the Hokage. The life of the Hokage was guarded _very_ well.

This fight pushed Kakashi to the end of his reserves. He put everything he had into keeping himself and his companions alive, and to pushing further towards their goal. Then they were there. Deer leaped across the room, snatching the scroll off its pedestal, neatly avoiding the poisoned trap in the process. With an enraged roar, their enemies redoubled their attack.

But if they were fueled by rage, the Anbu squad was fueled by triumph. They had gotten this far, they had the scroll, now all they had to do was get out. Piece of cake.

In what seemed like moments they had the door in sight. Almost out, where they could lose themselves in the forest. Then Kakashi heard a sound that made everything around him seem to freeze temporarily.

It was a scream. A scream of death, and pure agony. It was coming from Hawk.

Kakashi froze. _Oh God, not another one, I can't, not another… _He started to turn back, but suddenly Deer was between him and his dying companion.

"NO! Don't throw your life away for one man. We have a mission to complete."

Kakashi the Anbu Wolf, turned away, dashing out the door with his two remaining squad mates. As they reached the trees he tried, once again, to push the grief away, one more time. Slowly, so slowly, he felt the ache in his heart turn to ice.

Another wound that he could never speak of. Another wound that would never heal.

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"Kakashi-sensei sure is acting weird today," Naruto observed, a little too loud, causing Sakura to shush him.

"Be quiet Naruto. You do have a point though. He seems distracted." She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Did you hear that Asuma was killed yesterday?"

Naruto's brow furrowed. "Yea, I heard about that. Stray Shuriken. It's weird though. I wouldn't think a jounin would go down like that." He thought for a moment, looking like it pained him. "Weren't he and Kakashi-sensei friends? Maybe that's why he seems so upset."

"Yea, I think maybe…" she bit off what she was going to say quickly as Kakashi strode over.

"What are you all talking about over here; I thought we were training, not loitering.

Sakura blushed.

Naruto asked, "What does loitering mean?"

Sasuke glared.

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Two nights later Kakashi was summoned to do his work as an Anbu again. When he got to the gates his heart wrenched. There was Hawk, or at least the mask that proclaimed the Anbu Hawk. He knew that if he were to look, the face behind it would be different. So it had been Asuma behind that mask the whole time, a fellow teacher, who had spent the day out on a less dangerous mission with his students. Perhaps that was why he had been tired enough to let the enemy past his guard.

And he had been replaced, as always, to make up the traditional group of four. For a moment Kakashi wondered what luck it was that allowed him to continuously outlive the other members of his squad. This was his third Cat, his second Deer, and now his second Hawk. He was the only one to survive of the group as it had been when he had joined it, replacing, he now realized, the previous Wolf, an unknown warrior, who, some long night in the past, had been too tired to keep his guard up.

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When their mission of that night was complete, Kakashi waited for the others to head home before leaning up against a tree for support, and trying to hold back the tears.

He had tried, as always, to pretend that nothing had changed, that it was still the same old Hawk. But this time he couldn't. There were too many telltale signs, the sound of his step, the softness of his voice, which told Kakashi this was not the Hawk he knew.

"Wolf." He stiffened as Deer's voice rang out behind him. Then softer, "Kakashi."

He turned around slowly to see Iruka pull of his mask, revealing eyes full of compassion, and sorrow and heartache that matched Kakashi's own. "You're not supposed to do that." He said dully.

"I don't care." Iruka said, his voice choked with grief. "I can't stand not having anyone to talk to, and I know this is harder on you than it is on me." He waited for a long moment, but Kakashi didn't move. "Or maybe I was wrong." He started to raise his mask back to his face as one lonely tear ran down his cheek.

But before the porcelain could touch his face, covering his sorrowful expression with the cold persona of the Deer, Kakashi caught his arm, stopping him. "No." he said, with the same command in his voice as Iruka had used to stop him from throwing his life away for Hawk, two days ago. _I need this._

Silently Kakashi reached up, and pulled off his mask. In that instant, The Wolf was no more, and Kakashi stood before the one and only man, who just might understand.

As they looked into each other's eyes they both realized the kind of hurt they were opening themselves up to. If they allowed themselves to care, to become close, it would only hurt more when the other died, leaving them alone, with no hope of redemption.

Kakashi looked deep into Iruka's eyes. "When it is you, I will not turn back." Iruka nodded, understanding. Then he smiled. From now on, neither of them would ever be alone.

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This was beta'd by the wonderful _Non-Serious Seriousness_, my best friend and fellow writer (she's way better than me, go read her stuff)

Yes, I am making fun of both Sasuke and Naruto, more Sasuke than Naruto. I don't _like _Sasuke, he's an arrogant bastard, and Naruto, while being adorable, IS a bit of an idiot.

As for the situation between Kakashi and Iruka from here on in, make of it what you will.

I hope you liked it, I usually don't write darker stuff; I'm more of a humor person. Please R&R, and have a good night. (I don't care if ur reading it during the daytime, It's 1:45 in the morning right now and I get cranky when I'm tired.)


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